New Year’s Resolutions

Make happiness a priority.

These last few years, I’ve struggled a lot with finding happiness. It’s only started to become more permanent than temporary recently, and I want to keep it that way.

Push yourself outside your comfort zone.

I get anxiety sometimes. It’s hard for me to do things I’m unfamiliar with, like experiencing new thing or talking to unfamiliar people. But that’s something I have to learn to do.

Write more.

Only recently have I learned to put in the time for writing. I just finished my most recent project, VINDICTA, a couple days ago. I started it in September, which is pretty amazing for me, to be honest. Before that, I would’ve never thought I could accomplish anything like that. My biggest problem was (and still is) shutting up that inner editor. If I get over that hurdle, I can write so much more.

(Also, part two of this: back up your writing more. Long story short, I came back from an Internet-less holiday with 500 words left to write and found out my USB had failed, thus losing me 4000 words of story. Fun. I won’t make that mistake again.)

Learn more.

Possibly the nerdiest thing about me is that I love to learn. Seriously. I love learning new things. I’m not even kidding. I want to learn more.

Stop apologizing so much.

I kinda have this “I’m sorry!” instinct when I think I’ve offended or annoyed someone. Like, last week I asked my dad to pick me up from babysitting and apparently something I said in the text made it seem like I was in trouble, and I fell over myself apologizing about it when I found out. It’s an honest problem.

Put yourself first sometimes.

I also have a bad habit of being that person who always puts everyone else first. I have literally put the happiness of people who’ve treated me like dirt over my own before. I’m not kidding. It’s bad. So that’s why one of my resolutions is to try and put myself first sometimes.

Take risks.

As with #2, I live a pretty vanilla life. Now, I’m not saying I want to go full party-mode or anything, but taking a risk once and a while can pay off.

Make mistakes.

Okay, I don’t mean to purposely make mistakes. But I do think that mistakes can be the best learning experiences. So when I say make mistakes, I mean don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and learn from them when you do.

Stop sweating the small things.

See: #2, #5, #8. Alex has anxiety, man. It’s bad. It’s particularly horrible in music class, when I have to perform solos. The last one I did, I shook so hard I could barely play. I’m not the best violinist, and most of my classmates are a hell of a lot better than me. But the truth is that how I do in that class won’t affect me for the rest of my life. In the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty small. And it’s not productive to sweat things like that as much as I do.

Do something spontaneous.

Also connects to #2 and #7. I don’t get out often, guys. I’m usually the party pooper who declines friends’ offers to go out because she doesn’t feel like it or doesn’t have the time. But I’m going to try not to be that person anymore.

Learn to have faith in yourself.

I’ve always struggled with having faith in my own abilities. But I know I’m a good writer, and I know I’m a pretty good student. When I put my mind to something, I get it done. I think I’ve earned my own faith by now.

Let people in.

I’m naturally very, very introverted. These last few years have only made that worse. Because of some failed friendships, I have trust issues. I don’t let many people in, and I push a lot more people away, whether intentionally or not. But I’m going to really try not to do that anymore.

Let go of the past.

Again, there’ve been some things in my past that I still let affect the present. But I don’t want them to weigh me down anymore.

Learn to love yourself.

I’ve never really had a lot of confidence. Growing up, I always felt different from other girls because I had all this crazy hair. I felt like a different breed than them. Now, in high school, it sometimes still feels like they’re a different breed with their clear skin and perfect makeup. But it’s not fair of me to think of them like that. They’re not any better or worse than me.

Read more books.

To be honest, I haven’t been reading a whole lot lately. I’ve been too busy with school and writing. But one of my goals this year is to read more books, so I’m going to have to find the time.

Take better care of yourself.

Possibly in connection to my lack of confidence, I’ve never really put much effort or care into how I look. I don’t exercise enough, sleep enough, or drink enough water. I also have a tendency to eat lots of junk food, which isn’t a good combination. But the truth is that when I take better care of myself, I feel better about myself. So I’m going to make taking care of myself a priority.

Learn to walk with your head high.

Also goes along with #14. Because I’m so shy, I have a tendency to walk through hallways with my shoulders rounded, eyes down, and elbows tucked in. Usually, I try to avoid people’s eyes, too. On the rare occasion that I do meet someone’s eyes, I’ll give them this tiny little smile before hurriedly looking away. It’s kind of pathetic. And I don’t want to do that anymore.

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What’re your New Years’ resolutions?


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